Friday, August 5, 2016

The Christian Dollar Deception

Imagine a homeless person, bearded and wearing an old-style army jacket, probably rescued from a Salvation Army bin just before the employees could collect it. He's slowly hobbling down the sidewalk, going nowhere in particular. He watches the world, as the world ignores him, purposefully averting their gaze so they don't make eye contact, so they don't have to feel guilty or acknowledge that the system doesn't work for everyone. He stops suddenly, looking down at his feet, and there, like the smallest ray of hope, is a dirty and forgotten part of that society that left him behind so many years ago. It's a folded and time-worn $20 bill.

He bends over to pick it up, the slightest smile creeping across his lips, threatening to crack the dour expression he's worn longer than many have lived. Thoughts flood his mind as he imagines the many small ways he can rejoin society, if only for a fleeting moment. He's so happy, as rarely does ANYTHING work out in his favor anymore. Now, he'll be able to eat at least one good meal, and maybe he could even afford a pack of cigarettes or a few nips of strong liquor to forget about the world and his problems, at least for a little while, until after the money is gone again. Then he turns the bill over....

In a world that beats down the homeless that forcibly moves them from one location to another just so the rest of society doesn't have to see see the other, empty side of the scale that's been tilted their way for so long with all of their own excesses, is probably one of the most sadistic acts imaginable. To lift the spirits of someone, only to dash them to pieces again right back onto the sidewalk, is a very nearly a criminal act. How many other people had picked up that very same piece of paper, only to wad it up, furious, and discard it again so it could be picked up by the next passerby? That piece of paper, that grand idea of some Christian think-tank, has turned into a chain letter of misery and disappointment.

Not once in the history of the universe has a server, a homeless person, or anyone else for that matter, ever picked up what they thought was money, discovered it was NOT money at all, but rather, an indictment of their lives, and been stoked about it. Some of the messages even begin with "Disappointed?" to mock you and your slavish allegiance to the dollar. Don't you know that your slavish allegiance should be to your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, you dope? What I'm wondering is if these advertisements have netted them ANY new followers at all. Below are more examples of this heinous deception.

Very disappointed...

A response from the Editor of Refuse to Cooperate, Kent Allen Halliburton: Many times these little deceivers will have an address on them. For the ones that do, I usually collect as many of them as I can find, put them in a shoddy envelope, and then mail them back to the offending party, addressed from 'Your' Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I usually include a brief message, "Hey, I found these strewn about on the ground. Would you mind not deceiving people in my name, though? It really puts a damper on my reputation." Namaste! If I receive them in hand, I give them back with a word of encouragement, "You should keep this. It looks to me like you may need it more than I do." Namaste!

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